Comfort feels like thoughts of childhood. Not necessarily mine.
Childhood in theory. The complete dedication to discovery, not by choice, but because it's the only way a child knows. Pure studentry. Connection to the self and the universe, with little sense of shame.
This is the feeling of childhood I wish to capture in myself. Something I experienced snippets of, and was ripped away from repeatedly, or perhaps drawn out by a current that demands me.
I've fought many literal currents as a child, but the one that demands me most has pulled at me for my whole life. Currents lead to currents. But the beauty comes in this: now that I've made my way out, I've come to realize that I still feel like a child. Some call this a curse, I don't relate well to the typical adult experience, but now that I'm free, I still feel like I'm in my grandmothers living room.
I haven't lost my infatuation. I want to see and feel everything. I like to play. I act on curious impulse. My spirit is dancing looking for all things. The more I reject fear and act out of love, the closer I feel to reaching that pure studentry. Connection to spirit, self, world, and with little sense of shame. I love you. <3 <3 <3